A sensorially fluent, emotionally unhinged beauty spreadsheet for anxious shoppers with taste.

Only $5/month.

THE PYTHIA

EXCLUSIVE

Like gossiping in Sephora…

With your favorite overthinking beauty bimbo, The Pythia is an alarmingly specific, slightly obsessive beauty database, shopping guide, and girl-coded glossary for anyone who’s ever spiraled trying to pick the right foundation.

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I believe 9 times out of 10, any product can be made to work—but only if you know what you’re working with. Sometimes that means meeting a product where it’s at. So welcome to my sensorially, emotionally, and aesthetically fluent guide to the product landscape. It’s not minimalist. It’s not for the faint of heart. It’s the inside of my brain—and you’re invited.

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Curated by your favorite beauty counter escapee turned full-time product autopsy enthusiast, this living spreadsheet is built for beauty shoppers with anxiety and taste. Because beauty isn’t just “good” or “bad”—it’s a soup of texture, finish, feel, and emotional resonance that leads everyone to different conclusions about what’s right for them.

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FAQs

  • It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

  • It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

  • It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

  • It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.